By Gina Angostura
Columnist

Another first meeting tonight. I’m getting rather good at them. Though if they don’t lead to a second date, how good am I, really?

It’s like, if a person sighs alone in a forest after a first date, does anyone hear them? Perhaps that’s too philosophical for what is surely supposed to be a fun time. And besides, if you’re actually in a forest afterward, that might count as the worst first date ever. Unless you’re dating a Druid.

So instead, let’s take a look at the lighter side of meeting.

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It’s like my friend Derrick told me, it’s not going to be a successful relationship if you don’t have a cute meeting story ­ like puking on shoes. Hey, he said it, not me.

Apparently a couple he knows tell the story about how when they met, the girl threw up on the guy’s shoes. I don’t remember the details, whether she was sick or drunk or just making a comment about his footwear, but I guess they’re very happy, and they tell the story to everyone they meet. Then they puke on their shoes.

When I first saw my future husband, he was tickling a girl on a bed at a party. Not like that ­ everyone was in the room with them. Wait, that sounds worse. Anyway, I thought, what a weird guy! And see? We went on to have a long, successful relationship, until, of course, we didn’t.

Since then, I haven’t met anyone in a cute way. Nor have I had a really cute first date experience. Spilling food down the front of my shirt is not cute, nor is it unusual. It’s just part of my daily routine.

And you can’t engineer these things. You can’t, for instance, go into a Barnes & Noble and drop a huge dictionary on a guy’s head from atop a ladder. Bet you didn’t know that. I didn’t. Still paying off the court settlement for that one.

It has to be something like my friend Terry, who met his wife when she accused him of trying to steal her beer in a bar. Heated words were exchanged and they disliked each other instantly. A month later, she called him, they fell in love and now they have four children and have restored a 250-year-old house with no major incidents. They’ve learned to give each other time and attention. They’ve also learned not to touch each other’s beers.

Epilogue: The guy I mentioned I was meeting at the beginning of this column showed up ­ at the wrong restaurant. Turns out there is more than one Chen Yang Li. That’s kinda cute, isn’t it? Or annoying. It’s the kind of thing you’ll cherish and talk about for the first five years of a relationship, then bring it up, pointing and eyes narrowing, every time you have an argument.

The Single Cynic alternates weeks with the Married Cynic.